


Chaos

by I_D_E_K



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Anxiety, Author Ben Solo, Author Kylo Ren, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Condoms, Consent, Depression, Dom/sub, Dominant Armitage Hux, Enthusiastic Consent, Explicit Consent, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hux really likes consent, Insomnia, Loss of Virginity, Lube, M/M, Masturbation, Medicine, Mental Health Issues, Mind Reader Ben Solo, No one really mentions it, Pharmacist Hux, Pseudonyms, Sex Toys, Soulmates, Submissive Ben Solo, Therapy, Virgin Ben Solo, but it's implied, kind of, safe sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:54:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23648797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_D_E_K/pseuds/I_D_E_K
Summary: Ben Solo has been able to read minds for as long as he can remember. This includes his parents (some things you can't unsee), his teachers, store clerks, strangers he passes on the street - he's subject to the thoughts of everyone in a three metre radius. Until he meets Hux, the new owner of his local pharmacy and a complete and utter mystery to Ben.Armitage Hux has had a rough go of things and he wants nothing more than to just move on with his life. When he meets Ben Solo he is immediately intrigued. The man is like no one he's ever met before. They have a lot in common - they enjoy Kylo Ren's books, they both love Millie, they both have pasts that they'd rather not share and despite the fact that the two have their own issues, they find comfort in one another.They will learn things about each other that no one else knows.They will learn that secrets, lies and half-truths will try to drive them apart.They will learn that their bond is something entirely unique.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo, Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Phasma (Star Wars)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, hi,
> 
> This was supposed to be a one shot and it got out of control. I've got four chapters of this lined up so I'll most likely post those over the next few days.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Ben, for as long as he can remember, has suffered. He doesn’t know what he did in a past life to deserve the pain that he goes through but it must have been something downright awful. Every second of every day his mind is filled with chaos. Chaos being the thoughts of everyone within a three metre radius. He’s met others like himself, in fact his Un- Luke shared his curse. Most were able to hone it. Control it. Harness it. Ben had never been able to. So, his conclusion was that he had done something to someone (or many ones) and was suffering for that wrongdoing. 

By all accounts Ben should never have existed. His parents didn’t want children at the time of his conception and they had been in the prime of their lives; his mother headed swiftly towards the senatorial position she currently held and Han... Well, that was a point in his life that no one cared to acknowledge. 

He’d always been strange - ‘difficult’ Han had put it. A difficult pregnancy, a difficult birth, a difficult child and a difficult adult. As a child he’d only heard passing thoughts. Mainly his mother’s, Han’s if he was around. It was his normal. Leia, upon realising that Ben shared her brother’s unfortunate ability, had almost immediately started teaching him about his family history. His grandfather had ‘the gift’. She was slightly more in tune than most and her brother had followed in their father’s footsteps. He studied his ‘gift’ and now lived to help others like him.

He’d tried to help Ben - once he’d become too much for his mother to handle - taken him in and… Ben didn’t really like thinking about that time in his life but, cutting a long story short, Luke’s training had yielded the opposite effect to what was desired. With every lesson his ‘gift’ became more powerful and more uncontrollable. The man had eventually given up on Ben. 

Not wanting to return to a place that he’d learned to despise, he packed what little he cared about and stayed in a hotel until his visa was approved. 

London is busier than he anticipated, having grown up in small towns. He spent the first week there with a constant migraine and he only left his bed to open the door for room service and to use the facilities. Almost the very second he was able to function again he bought a bungalow as far away from the city as he could. His home was where he was most comfortable. He only really left to go to his appointments (unfortunately in Central London), to buy groceries and to pick up his prescriptions (thankfully closer to home). But still, despite being so far out of the city his mind could not settle. He spends most nights staring at his ceiling and most days struggling to get another chapter of his latest project at the least planned out, ideally finished. He still has deadlines, even though he works from home.

It’s after his weekly session with Doctor Grace that they meet. 

He’d known that his regular pharmacist was retiring, though he hadn’t known that the new owner would be taking over so soon. He had assumed that the man had gone to lunch and forgotten to lock the door because he couldn’t hear anyone in the building but he didn’t want to leave it unattended, just in case someone took advantage of the fact that there was no one in the store. Things like that rarely happened in such a small village, but Ben didn’t want to take that risk. If the new owner had been stressed enough to forget to lock the door then God only knows what he’ll do if he gets robbed.

He browsed the aisles for a while. Picked up some toothpaste and waited by the counter for a few moments before tapping the bell once. 

And once more. 

Three times in succession. 

Over, and over, and over, and over, until-

“Alright! Alright, my goodness, I heard you the first time!” Ben is shocked in to silence, jaw slackening and eyes widening. “What do you want?” The man is about the same height as Ben, if not an inch or so shorter, with perfectly styled ginger hair atop his head, green eyes not holding back a shred of the irritation that he felt. “Yes?” He prompted when Ben didn’t answer immediately. He notices immediately that he can’t hear this man’s thoughts. He’s a complete blank page. There aren't reams of information being forced in to his mind from this stranger.

“I- I’m so sorry, I didn't think anyone was here.” Ben’s answer is clearly not satisfactory because Hux, as his nametag states, crosses his arms over his chest and stalks forward as far as he can, leaving just over a foot of counter between them.

“Let me just be sure that I understand this. You didn’t think that anyone was here. You came in, browsed my shelves, picked up items, came to my counter and rang my bell because you didn’t think that anyone was here. Is there something wrong with you?”

“Well, yes, I wouldn’t be here if there wasn’t. I’m picking up a repeat prescription. Ben.” He held his hand out to the man and the pharmacist opened his mouth to speak, only to sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose between his middle finger and thumb.

“Ben what?” He asked, picking up the box labelled ‘Repeats’.

“Solo.” He flicked through the alphabeticalized prescription papers until he came up with Ben’s and disappeared behind the shelves of medications.

“I apologise for my rudeness, I’m under a lot of stress at the moment.” Hux says distractedly as he starts loading a basket with the items.

“It’s okay, I understand. I’m sorry about the bell thing, I really didn’t think there was anyone here.” Ben finds himself closing his eyes, almost straining to hear, because Hux’s mind is completely closed off to him and that is something he has never encountered before.”

“I was supposed to keep the previous pharmacist’s employee on hand so that she wasn’t out of a job but she seems to have forgotten that she was asked to be here today.” Hux sighs as he packs each item into its box and signs the labels. “I’ve been trying to man the shop floor as well as sort through the mess that the office was left in.”

“Mmm.” Ben hums in acknowledgment, focusing almost entirely on trying to break through whatever mental barrier Hux has up. Though, strangely enough, the more he focuses on Hux the more the chaos recedes.

“Uh… you okay?” He asks after a few moments and Ben opens his eyes, finding that Hux has everything prepped and ready to go in the not so little paper bag.

“Yeah. Yes. Sorry. I get migraines, hence the codeine.” Ben gestures towards the bag and Hux nods.

“I’m sure you’ve been told the dangers of taking such medications long term, so I won't bore you with the lengthier talk I have to take most through. Don’t take more than four doses a day, don’t get addicted.”

“Thanks, I’ll try not to.” Ben chuckles and Hux smiles tightly, as if he’s desperately trying to keep hold of his professional persona.

“That’s 45.75 for the prescription and- 1.50 for the toothpaste?! That’s bloody extortionate, I’ll lower the price when I next get an order in.” Hux says, mostly to himself, as he makes a note in the already full notepad behind the counter. Ben opens his wallet with a chuckle and hands over a crisp £50 note, causing Hux to raise his eyebrow in questioning. “You’re not selling all this on are you?” Hux asks, only half joking.

“Yes, I run a huge drug syndicate from my bungalow in rural Essex.” Ben jokes. Earning a chuckle from Hux and a head shake. “Keep the change. An apology for ringing that bell so many times entirely unnecessarily.”

“Well, thank you. Have a good day, Ben.”

“You too, Hux.” Ben picks up his items and waves before turning and exiting the shop, jogging back across the road to his car.

…

Hux watched the man retreat and sighed, shaking his head to rid himself of the odd feeling the whole encounter had left him with. The remainder of his day was mostly uneventful; he ended up spending the rest of it on the shop floor and staying late to tidy some of the office.

He didn’t realise how tired he was until he got home and let Millicent in from her perch on the windowsill of his ground floor flat.

“Evening, my darling.” He coos at her as she trills softly in greeting, rubbing her head against his hand, bell jingling softly when he scratches her under her chin. “Are you hungry? You must be starving after gallivanting outside all day. I promise I’ll come home earlier tomorrow evening to let you in on time for dinner.” She follows him to the kitchen, rubbing up against his leg and meowing loudly when he picks up her food bowl. He scoops the required amount of dry food in to her bowl and strokes a hand down her back as she begins munching away.

With Millie taken care of he makes his way to his bathroom and strips down, placing his clothes in the wash bin before turning the shower on. Once washed and dressed for bed he chucks a ready meal in to the microwave and flops down on to the couch. He switches the TV on and flicks through the channels until something catches his eye. It’s not a show, but a trailer for a movie based on one of his favourite books - although he would never admit to reading the raunchy romance novels that Kylo Ren writes. The movie actually looks pretty good and Hux will probably stream it when it comes out online, considering he has no one to go to the cinema to see it with. He would ask Phas but she will most definitely be going with her girlfriend.

The truth of the matter is that Kylo writes so explicitly what Hux wishes he could find in a partner. He talks of passion and fun and desire so deep that Hux had broken things off with his last ‘boyfriend’ after finishing Kylo’s first book. He hadn’t been with anybody for longer than one night since.

For some reason, his mind is brought back to Ben. Ben Solo in all his tall, broad glory was exactly Hux’s type - minus the obvious baggage and the fact that he’d spent half their conversation practically on another planet. He could see himself propositioning Ben had they not met at his workplace… perhaps more if Ben was interested in anything remotely like the things Kylo writes.

His microwave pings, notifying him that his meal is ready and he’s careful not to trip over Millicent, who has finished eating for now and has chosen to sit in the middle of the walkway to clean herself. As usual, he burns himself on the steam as he peels the lid back on the plastic pot. He eats quickly, setting the empty container on the coffee table and laying down, telling himself that he’s just going to rest his eyes for a few seconds but knowing that he won’t be moving again until morning.

…

Around two weeks after their first encounter they meet again. Hux is doing his weekly shop - is just about finished - when he spots the familiar broad frame standing in front of the eggs, massaging his temples, elbows leaning on the handle of the trolley.

“Ben?” He asks, concern rising when the man doesn’t respond and continues rubbing his temples and mumbling. “Ben, are you okay?” He lays a hand on Ben’s arm, startling him in to looking up at Hux. “What’s wrong?”

“Hux. I- God.” He tries to talk but has to close his eyes again, pressing the heel of his palm against his forehead. He looks terrible, Hux notes. His hair is greasy, he’s clammy and pale with dark bags under his eyes.

“Ben, is there anything I can do to help?” He asks, concern rising.

“No, I just- I need to finish.”

“You need to go home, you look terrible.”

“I can’t, not yet, I need to do this before I forget again.”

“At least let me help you.”

“How could you possibly help me right now?” He snapped. “I need something, I know I do, and it’s not on my list because I forgot to write it down and now I’m here and I still can’t remember.” 

“Alright, let’s have a look at your list. I’ll see what you’ve already got and maybe I’ll be able to help you remember it.”

His frown deepens but he nods, handing the folded piece of paper over to Hux. He smiles at Ben and rubs his arm before looking down at the list. He turns it over and sees nothing on the back, but unfolds it and smiles.

“Ben, you didn’t forget. You wrote it down but you folded the paper, it’s on the back here.” His eyes widen as he looks down at the list. Hux smiles as he visibly relaxes. “Look, I’ve still got some bits to pick up, why don’t you check out and wait in your car and I’ll pick this up for you.”

“Are you sure?” Ben asks, despite the relief flooding his features.

“I’m sure. I’ll meet you at the pick up and drop off?”

“Thank you.”

“It’s no problem at all, Ben, go and sit down for five minutes.”

“I will.” They part ways and Hux hurries through the shop to grab the rest of the items on his mental list as well as the two things Ben had forgotten. He pays and loads the stuff in to his bags before walking to where he’d asked Ben to meet him. He’s shocked to find the dishevelled young man driving a Porsche Cayenne of all things. He knocks on the window and Ben rolls it down.

“Thank you so much for this. I definitely would’ve beaten myself up about that for days.”

“Well, I’m glad I could help.” He hands the items over and Ben tries to give him a tenner, only for Hux to hold his hand out to stop him. “No, honestly it’s fine, it’s not even five pounds worth of stuff.”

“Are you sure? It’s no skin off my back. And it’s the least I can do.”

“I’m sure, just get yourself home and try to get some rest.”

“Thanks again for this, Hux. I really owe you one.”

“It’s no problem. Take it easy, Ben.” They part ways, Ben rolling his window up and driving off while Hux walks to the bus stop. He pulls his phone out to check the bus times, only to nearly drop it when Ben pulls up and presses on his horn twice.

“What are you doing?” He asks and Hux gives him a deadpan stare. “What?”

“I’m waiting for the bus, what does it look like I’m doing?”

“Well, get in.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Get in. I said I owe you one, didn’t I?”

“I- I suppose you did, yes.”

“You can put your stuff on the backseat, come on.” He unlocks the doors and Hux does as he’s asked, setting the stuff down safely before getting in the front next to Ben. “Where to?” Hux rattles off his address and Ben taps it in to the satnav.

“This is a nice car.”

“Yeah, I don’t do a whole lot with my money but I have a special place in my heart for cars.”

“I can see that. You seem to be feeling much better.”

“I am, definitely. I hate the grocery store.”

“I take it your migraines kick up when you’re shopping.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve hated shopping ever since I was a kid, it just gets worse as I get older and when I haven’t slept and stuff.” He shrugged, adjusting his hold on the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry that you have to go through that.”

“It is what it is.” He shrugs. “It almost makes me wish I lived closer to the big stores so that I could get stuff delivered.”

“I would love to have my shopping delivered to me, I just never know what I want for one and I never know when to tell them to deliver.”

“I don’t really leave my house aside from my appointments, picking up my prescription and grocery shopping so I wouldn’t have that problem but like I said, rural Essex.”

“I’ve always wanted to live in the middle of one of the huge fields, no one around for miles.”

“I mean, that’s pretty much where I live. I have a few acres of land.” Ben chuckles, anticipating the woman in the next lane wanting to come over and speeding up so that she could.

“You’re a very intuitive driver.” Hux comments.

“Yeah, it helps that I can read the minds of everyone in a three metre radius.” Ben says, making Hux laugh. “Nah, British drivers are predictable. It’s all in the body language.”

“Right, okay. So you’re an expert in body language?”

“Not an expert but well versed, I would say.”

“Okay.” Hux chuckles and they make small talk for the rest of the journey.

“You want a hand with your bags?” Ben asks when they’re parked outside Hux’s building.

“You have to let me make you a cup of tea then. It’s the least I can do.”

“Fine. Lead the way.” Ben says, without hesitation, a smirk on his face. They both exit the car and take their equal share of Hux’s bags, Ben only remembering to lock the car when they had reached the door.

“It’s not much, but it’s enough for Millie and I.” Hux speaks when they enter his home, flicking the light on.

“Millie?” Ben asks.

“Millie.” Hux nods over to where the ginger cat is stretching on her tree.

“She’s so pretty.” Ben grins, dropping the bags to go and say hello. “She’s big.” He chuckles.

“Thank you. She’s a Persian crossed with a Maine Coon.”

“She’s sweet.”

“You must be a good egg. She’s usually attacked and or run off by now.”

“Well, she knows that as soon as her owner turns his back I’m gonna find the treats and give her all of them.” Ben coos at her, making Hux smile as he reluctantly turns to pack his shopping away. Once the freezer stuff has been packed (the majority of his shopping) he fills the kettle and flicks it on, getting two mugs from the tree, placing a teabag in each. “How many sugars?” He calls through to Ben.

“None, thank you. I’m sweet enough as is.” He jokes and Hux rolls his eyes, grinning despite himself. He adds a spoonful of sugar to his own mug and adds boiling water to both, allowing them to steep whilst he packs the rest of the bags away, looking over at Ben and Millicent more than he cares to admit. Once steeped he adds milk and stirs before squeezing out the bags and dropping them in to the bin.

“Thank you.” Ben smiles, taking the mug that Hux presents to him. “So, are you a big fan of Kylo Ren?” He asks, and Hux chokes on the sip of tea he had been taking, setting his mug down and grabbing a tissue from the box on his coffee table to wipe his mouth. “Sorry, just saw the book on your coffee table.” Hux blushes, picking the book up and shoving it in between the couch cushions.

“You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, I like him too.” Ben shrugs.

“You do?”

“Yeah. Just got a way with words, you know?”

“Most people find his stuff… depraved. Pornographic.”

“I like the storylines.” Ben shrugs again, moving to sit beside Hux and fishing the book from between the cushions. “This is one of his best, I think.”

“It’s my favourite.” Hux blushes again, picking up his mug. “I’ve read it a thousand times.”

“You must be really happy that they’ve turned it in to a movie.”

“Yes… and no. I think it’s going to be fantastic, I just have no one to go and see it with.”

“Well, we could go together, if you like.”

“Oh, no I wouldn’t want to-”

“Like on a date, maybe?” Ben asks mostly in to his tea, taking a long sip afterwards. “Or- or not.” He says when Hux doesn’t answer.

“Sorry, no, that would be quite fun actually. I haven’t been to the cinema in ages.” Hux smiles softly and Ben looks over at him hopefully.

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not.” Hux shrugs. “After all, you did help me bring the shopping in, in one trip.” They both laugh and Ben empties his mug.

“I should go. I have work to get done back home.”

“Yeah, sure.” Hux nods and stands to see him out.

“I’ll see you later Millie. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about those treats.” He says, scratching her chin before heading towards the door.

“She’s spoiled enough as it is, Ben, you don’t even know.”

“Well, she deserves the world.”

“You sure you don’t want a date with her?” He raised an eyebrow and Ben rolled his eyes.

“No need to be jealous. And besides, even if I did like her more than I like you, I wouldn’t taint her innocent eyes with Kylo Ren.”

“That’s true.”

“Alright, I really do have to go. But I’m really looking forward to seeing the movie with you.”

“Yeah, it’s gonna be fun.”

“Oh, we should probably exchange numbers.”

“Right, yes.” They swap phones, typing their phone numbers in and then trading back. “I’ll see you soon, Ben.”

“See you soon.”

…

“I’m sorry, you’re going on a date with someone who probably has more baggage than an airport and you don’t see the problem with that? Who are you and what have you done with my friend?” Phas says at their fortnightly brunch date.

“Well, I barely know him, I don’t know. Also, if he’s taking all of his medications correctly then they should help with the baggage.”

“Hux, he’s still on antidepressants, anti anxiety and sleeping pills. That’s a recipe for disaster.”

“Well, he’s handsome and he’s kind and- and he’s… he's different.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means that for the first time in years I genuinely feel like I want to absolutely ravage someone and I’ll be taking him to bed, whether he’s got baggage or not. It doesn’t have to be a big deal.”

“Maybe it’s a big deal to him, Hux. He seems to like you.”

“And I like him! You make me out to be a monster.”

“Because you are.” She laughs, earning an unimpressed stare from Hux. “You can’t deny that you’re a teensy bit emotionless at times.”

“I am not.”

“You slept with a guy for a month, whilst sleeping with other guys and didn’t tell him that you didn’t see your ‘relationship’ going anywhere or that you were sleeping with other guys. And you don’t think you can be emotionless?”

“It was a rough patch.” He shrugs, sipping his tea.

“He just seems fragile enough without you toying with him.”

“I’m not toying with him, I’m going on one date with him. And I like him, Phas.”

“You like him or you like a challenge?”

“Can’t it be both?”

“Monster.” He throws a bread roll at her, which she catches (damn you college rugby) and takes a bite out of.

“Shut up and eat your breakfast, hag.”

…

Hux: I told my friend that we’re going on a date and she seemed to think that I’m going to corrupt you or something 😬

Ben: 😂😂  
Ben: Not sure how to feel about that?

Hux: You don’t think I’m some sort of monster as well do you 😢

Ben: well…

Hux: !!

Ben: Kidding 😂  
Ben: the corruption doesn’t sound all too bad if I’m honest 😉

Hux: Why, Ben are you flirting with me?

Ben: …Maybe…  
Ben: if you want me to x

Hux: I definitely want you to x  
…

Ben: Saw this and thought of Millie so I may or may not have bought one for her 🥴 x  
Ben: *picture of a banana shaped bed*

Hux: Ben! x  
Hux: She’s going to love it but you shouldn’t have 😤x  
Hux: how much was it I’ll give you the money back x

Ben: not telling!  
Ben: suuuper busy x  
Ben: gotta go talk later x

Hux: Benjamin Solo you better not!  
Hux: did you seriously turn your phone off to avoid paying me back?  
Hux: you are so gonna get it later 😠

…

Ben: …is that a threat or a promise 👀

Hux: that’s a promise love x  
Hux: and don’t you forget it x

Ben: trust me, I won’t 😉x

…

“You seem in a good mood today, Ben.” Dr. Grace smiles as they sit opposite one another in her consultation room.

“That’s because I am.” Ben returns her smile and sighs. “I met someone.”

“You did? That’s great!”

“Yeah, he took over the pharmacy that I get my meds from and we didn’t get off to the best start, I didn’t realise he was there and rang the bell a few times too many.” He says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “But then he saw me kind of melting down in the grocery store the other day and he really helped me out.”

“That’s fantastic. And how has he taken the whole mind reading thing?” She asks.

“Well, he hasn’t… I haven’t told him.”

“Ben…”

“I will, it’s just that he’s… I can’t actually hear his thoughts.”

“Oh… that’s strange, why do you think that is?”

“I’m not all that sure, but it’s refreshing. You know, not having to hear what he thinks of me is… it’s scary. But in a good way?”

“Well, it is abnormal for you, of course it’s scary.”

“But it’s… I don’t know how to explain it, it’s just so… so nice. I feel normal when I’m with him.”

“It seems to me like he’s good for you.”

“I hope so.”

“Have you slept well this week?”

“Not… not really. I tried the sleeping pills again but they just make my brain fuzzy the next day and I need a clear head to write.”

“Right, okay. And what about the meditation techniques we discussed?”

“I told you, my uncle tried all of that when I lived with him, it only ever made it worse.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Do you think you’re still afraid to sleep because of what happened with your uncle?”

“I don’t- maybe? I don’t know.”

“Do you still have nightmares when you do sleep?”

“Yes.”

“And the sleeping tablets, they make it more difficult to wake from them?”

“Yes. But that’s their job, right? To help me sleep?”

“Yes, it is, but I think your trauma runs too deep for them to do much other than make you even more tired. I’d like you to stop taking them again for the time being, but we have to talk more in depth about what happened with your uncle. To help you I need to really and truly understand what happened to you. I can’t do that with the shell of a story.”

“Can we just talk about something else please?”

“Of course. Let’s talk about your book, how’s that coming along?”  
…

“Have a good day my darling.” Hux grins at the lovely old lady as he hands her her change.

“Thank you sweetheart, and you.” She shuffles away and as she reaches the door it opens, a familiar frame holding it open for her. “Thank you, dear.”

“No problem.” Ben smiles at her, waiting until she’s completely out of the shop before letting go of the door. “Hey stranger.” He grins at Hux, approaching the counter.

“Hi. This is a surprise.”

“I wish it was a social call but I’m here on business.”

“Prescription?”

“Bingo.”

“How’s your week been?” He asks as he takes the slip of paper that Ben hands him and goes about retrieving the items.

“It’s been surprisingly good. I’ve been talking to this guy.”

“Oh, a guy. Sounds interesting.”

“Yeah, he’s funny. Smart. Very handsome.”

“Sounds like a catch.”

“Oh, he’s definitely a catch.”

“Ben, has your doctor made a mistake? I gave you zolpidem last month and it’s not on here.”

“Not a mistake, just not taking it for a little bit.”

“Okay. I’m sure she knows what she's doing. It comes to 36.60.” Hux smiles as he places the paper bag on the counter.

“So, I was talking to a few buddies of mine and I may or may not have been able to get an early release of The Force.” Ben mentions, changing the subject as he hands the money over.

“Seriously?” Hux asks, eyes wide, clearly excited. “How?”

“Just called in a favour.” Ben shrugs. “I could bring it over Saturday?”

“Saturday sounds good.”

“Good.”

“I’ll see you then.”

“Bye.” Ben says with a small wave, reluctant to look away from Hux.

“Bye.” He replies, giving a small wave back.

…

Saturday rolls around quicker than expected and Hux spends all day tidying, opening the windows and lighting some incense, accidentally scaring Millie away when he hoovers - she comes back quick enough when he shakes her treat tin - and tripping over her when he walks pretty much anywhere. As it nears six (the time they had set for Ben to come over) Hux showers and styles his hair, deciding to go for a smart-casual look so that he’s comfortable but not slobbish.

The buzzer goes off and he picks the phone up off of the hook. “Who is it?”

“It’s me. Ben.” Hux notes immediately that he sounds tired.

“Come on up.” He holds down the button to allow Ben in to the building and opens the door to his flat. “Hey.” He smiles, failing to hide the concern in his eyes at Ben’s appearance. He’s put together, wearing a crisp white tee and some blue jeans and his hair is washed but the bags under his eyes appear deeper and darker than usual and his eyelids seem to droop with exhaustion.

“Hey. How are you?” He asks as Hux steps back to let him in.

“I’m good, how are you?”

“I’ve been better, but my day is looking up.” He smiles softly. “I’ve been looking forward to this all week.”

“Yeah, me too. I’m a shit cook so I thought we could order in tonight.”

“Sounds good to me. You’ll have to let me teach you to cook some day.”

“You can try, love, Phas actually took me to some cooking lessons once and I nearly burned down the building.” Hux scoffs and Ben chuckles at his response.

“Maybe you just need the right teacher.” Ben shrugs, picking Millie up from where she’s curling around his ankles. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, I forgot your bed, I’ll bring it for you next time.” He coos at her and grins at the purrs he gets in return.

“So, what do you fancy? Pizza? Chinese? Indian?”

“Pizza sounds good.”

“What toppings?”

“I’ll literally eat anything you put in front of me.”

“Good to know.” Hux chuckles and pulls his phone out to order through the app. “So, have you watched the movie yet?” He asks once the order has been put in.

“Admittedly, yes.” Ben says and Hux’s jaw drops. “But it was before I knew you liked Kylo’s stuff.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for later on in this relationship.” The words leave Hux’s mouth before he even processes them, shocking both him and Ben and sending him in to an internal panic spiral.

“I’ll hold you to it.” Ben smiles fondly and he sets Millicent down, approaching Hux. “I know we don’t know each other very well just yet, and I know you know that I have some issues. But I’m- I’m working on those and I really like you. If you could see past those and get to know me better then-” Ben is cut off in to startled silence at the quick, soft press of Hux’s lips on his own.

“I like you too, Ben.” Hux says simply and Ben’s smile turns dumb.

“Oh. That’s good.”

“It is. Would you like something to drink before we sit down?”

…

Ben did not think this through. 

He did not think this through at all and he is suffering. He’d written these scenes in his books. He’d helped the screenwriters and choreographers - over the phone of course - to turn them in to a reality. He’d sat and watched the movie on his own and had managed to avoid a situation like this but sitting next to Hux, feeling the warmth of his thigh so close to his own, hearing his breath and smelling his cologne… it makes the sound of every breath, every moan, every spank course through him like electricity. He finds himself shifting, attempting to discreetly adjust the steadily growing bulge in his jeans and he’s cursing himself for not finding the time to take care of himself during the week.

“Are you uncomfortable? Did you want another cushion?” Hux asks when he notices the shifting.

“I think I just need to stretch my legs for a bit.” Ben answers.

“Well I was gonna go and grab another drink if you want to pause it?” Ben nods and Hux walks to the kitchen, giving Ben the space he needs to try and calm himself. He takes steadying breaths, giving himself an internal pep talk, and just as it starts working, Hux returns and flops down closer to Ben, their thighs pressing against one another and he’s harder than ever. “Ben, are you okay?”

“Yeah… Yeah, yeah I’m fine, just- just-”

“It’s okay, you can tell me what’s going on.” Hux lays his hand on Ben’s shoulder and he tenses, crotch pulsing with need.

“I- I have to go.” Ben stands, rushing towards the front door.

“Ben! Hold on, what’s-” He doesn’t hear what Hux says because he’s slammed the door behind himself and is already pressing the button to allow him to exit the building. He’s in his car and speeding out of the lot before he even really registers what he’s done. He definitely gets flashed by a speed camera on his way home but he can’t bring himself to care because as soon as he’s in the door he’s unbuckling his belt, undoing his jeans and pushing them down just far enough to be able to grasp himself. He lifts his shirt, tucking it behind his head and within a few strokes he’s coming, streaking his chest in his spend and groaning long and loud.

He slides his back down the wall until he’s sat on the floor, hand still wrapped around his softening member as his actions sink in.

“God, Ben you are a stupid, stupid fucking virgin.” He tells himself, slamming his head in to the wall behind him.

…

“Ben, I’ve tried calling you but it’s clear that you don’t want to talk right now. I’m not overly sure what happened and if you don’t feel like telling me then we can just consider this done because I’m not going to be walked out on and ignored for no reason whatsoever.” Hux snaps and sighs, rubbing his forehead where a headache is forming. “Just- whatever I did, I’m sorry. Please call me back?” He hangs up and blinks away the tears that threaten to fall. “Stop being such a fucking baby, Hux, you barely know him.”


	2. Chapter 2

“It’s not that he walked out. I understand that something had happened or made him uncomfortable in some way and he had to leave. Believe you me, I understand that. But it’s nearly been a week and he’s said absolutely nothing. Not a call, not a text - nothing.” Hux complains to Phasma as he lays across his sofa, Millicent sleeping soundly on his stomach.

“Have the texts been going through? Maybe he’s lost his phone.”

“Have they been going through? They’ve not only been going through, the fucker has been reading them. I’ve even seen him start typing a few times.” He scoffs. “I just don’t understand why he asked me out, came to my flat, told me that he really likes me and then started ignoring me. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“You’re completely right. It doesn't make any sense. But this is what happens when you get involved with someone who has such obvious issues.”

“... He did look unwell when he came over. But he perked up as soon as Millie was in his arms.”

“Hold on, Millie as in Millicent the cat who hates just about everyone except you?”

“Yes, I was just as shocked as you were.”

“This is all incredibly confusing, just what have you gotten yourself into, Hux?”

“Well, seemingly nothing. He’s fucked off now, hasn’t he?” Hux lifts the bottle of wine that he's been drinking through a curly straw so that he doesn’t have to sit up and takes a long sip. “Anyway, enough about me. How are you?”

“I’m good. Lola and I went to see The Force the other night. We uh… didn’t make it home if you were wondering.” She brags and Hux sit’s up so fast that Millicent rolls down his chest and in to his lap, looking frazzled.

“Oh shit.”

“What?”

“Shit!”

“What is it?”

“I didn’t even think about that. Shit!”

“Hux, what are you shouting about?!”

“Ben. He- He had a copy of The Force that he got from a friend of his and we were watching it when he got really uncomfortable and had to stretch his legs. I am such a moron!”

“... Yes. Yes you are.”

“I’m an idiot. He’s an idiot! Why didn’t he just- Urgh!”

“I’m gonna hang up now. Go on and leave another message for your lover boy.”

“I’ll call you back, Phas. Bye.”

“Bye.”

…

Hux: Ben I’m an idiot  
Hux: And so are you  
Hux: You could’ve just said you were getting turned on   
Hux: I would’ve put something else on  
Hux: Or done something else to make you more comfortable  
Hux: You didn’t have to run out like that

Ben: typing…  
...  
Ben: typing…  
...  
Ben: typing…  
…  
Ben:

Hux: I can see you typing you bellend  
Hux: Say something or tell me you don’t want to hear from me anymore for fucks sake

Ben: typing…  
...  
Ben:

…

“I’m getting worried.” He sighs as he stirs the meal before recovering it and putting it back in the microwave.

“Why?” Phasma asks on the other end of the line. “You should be grateful that he’s leaving you alone.”

“Well-”

“Look, he’s clearly got problems that you can’t fix-”

“I don’t want to fix him, I just want to help him.”

“You can’t help everyone.”

“I can try.”

“Hux, he’s not some kind of puzzle for you to solve.”

“I know he isn’t. I know. I just-... there’s something about him. Phas. I can’t just let him go.”

…

“Kylo, we’re nearing your deadline. How are those last three chapters coming along.”

“I’m sorry Mr. Snoke, I’ve not been feeling all that great these past few weeks.” Ben says, exhaustion clear in his voice. Snoke sighs on the other end of the line.

“Are you trying to disappoint my people? Your fans? Me?” He snarls, but Ben can’t find it within him to be scared. He’s tired. Hasn’t slept, hasn’t rested, has barely closed his eyes in almost three weeks. Hux has stopped texting. Stopped calling. He was supposed to pick his meds up but he hasn’t been able to bring himself to. He hasn’t been taking them correctly anyway. Most of the pills that he’s supposed to be taking sit in the boxes in the mirror cabinet in his bathroom. He hasn’t showered in over a week. Dishes are piled up in the sink but he stopped eating days ago. It’s times like these that he’s grateful that no one he knows would think to check up on him in his home. “Kylo are you listening to me?!”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Snoke. There’s no excuse.”

“Fix up, Kylo, or you might just find a surprise on your doorstep.” The line goes dead and Ben sighs. Snoke has threatened to out him before, but he’s never been this serious about it. He can’t bring himself to really care if he’s honest. In the beginning he’d kept his identity a secret so that the type of books he put out there didn’t harm his mother’s career but considering they hadn’t spoken in well over a month it’s unlikely that she would even care at this point.

The doorbell rings throughout his home.

He stays seated, staring at the wall opposite him.

The doorbell rings again.

He thinks about moving but decides that whoever is outside will eventually go away.

The doorbell rings three times in a row.

He stays.

The person at his door is clearly more persistent than he, because they hold their finger down on the button until the pounding in Ben’s head drives him to move, standing from his seat on the couch and storming to his door.

“What?!” He yells as he yanks it open, an even angrier looking Hux standing in front of him. His own anger drops in an instant and is replaced by shock. “Hux. What-”

“You didn’t come to pick up your medication. Graham left a note behind on his desk, said if you ever failed to pick up your medication he would bring it to you and I took over his job therefore it’s now my responsibility.” He says, eyes scanning Ben’s frame.

“Thank you.” Ben gulps, throat suddenly dry.

“Are you gonna let me in then?” Hux asks.

“No!” Ben answers far too quickly. “No, I uh… I just-”

“Ben, I’ve seen depression... I’ve been in a similar place, let me help you. Please.”

“Hux...”

“It’s the least you can do after walking out on me the other week.”

“I’m sorry about that, I-”

“We won’t discuss it. Just let me in and let me help you.”

“Okay… Okay.” He steps aside and allows Hux in to his home.

“Come on. First thing’s first, you need a shower and a shave. You stink and you look much better with a clean face.” Ben blushes and leads Hux to the bathroom he uses the most. “You get in. Leave your clothes by the door, I’ll get them in the wash for you. And wash yourself properly, don’t just stand under the water for ten minutes.”

“Yes sir.” He jokes, thinks he sees something flash in Hux’s eyes but the other man is out of the room before he can really see.

Whilst Ben is in the shower Hux starts a wash off and finds the hoover. He’ll get to the washing up when he’s got Ben to at least try and get some sleep. He imagines that the man hasn’t done much but sit on his couch for the past few weeks, judging by the fact that there are empty take away boxes scattered all over the bungalow and there’s a rather sizable dent in the sofa. He puts Ben’s laptop on charge in his office and closes the door. He doesn’t need to be thinking about work right now, no matter what it is that he does.

It occurs to Hux that he still doesn’t really know much about Ben’s life. They’ve talked about pretty much everything but their histories and as refreshing as it is to not have someone know you inside and out, he had really thought that they would get to know each other better.

He hears the shower shut off just as he finishes the hoovering and rushes to make sure that Ben has followed instructions. He knows all too well how difficult such a simple task can be when depression gets the better of you.

“There he is! Clean shaven and you certainly smell much better.”

“I feel a lot better.” Ben nods and Hux can’t help but smile at him, stepping closer and reaching up. His ears are poking through his hair and he can’t help but tuck the thick black locks behind them. “I was bullied a lot as a kid. They’ve always been too big.”

“Well, I think they’re just right.” He leans up and presses a kiss to one, and then the other. “Now go and put something comfy on.”

“Hux, you know I’m really sorry. I really didn’t think that-”

“We’ll talk about it once you’ve had a rest. Go and put some clothes on.”

“You’re gonna stay?”

“For a while, yes. I have to get back to Millie this evening but you’ve got me all day.”

“Okay.” Hux straightens up the couch whilst Ben is getting his clothes on and once he deems it safe to go and check on him he makes his way down the hall and to the master bedroom. “Ben? Are you decent?”

“Yeah.” Comes a small voice from inside the room. It’s a nice room; light walls and warm toned furniture with a big TV opposite the bed and a wall of windows that look out on to Ben’s land.

“You’re not dressed yet?”

“I’m tired.”

“Do you need some help?”

“I’m not a child, I can dress myself.”

“I know that. But sometimes we just need a helping hand. What do you usually sleep in?”

“Sweats.” Ben shrugs.

“Where are they?”

“Drawers in the walk in.” Ben mumbles and Hux heads over to the wardrobe, finding the drawer and grabbing a pair of grey sweats for Ben to put on.

“Lift your foot.” Hux says as he bunches up one of the legs.

“Are you serious?” Ben asks, smiling at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation.

“Do I look like I’m joking? Foot up.” Ben obeys Hux’s orders and Hux slips the fabric over his foot, letting it rest around one ankle as he bunches up the other leg. “Other one.” He puts the other leg over Ben’s foot and pulls them upwards until Ben can take over, looking away to give him some semblance of privacy. “Decent?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Any objections to me getting in your bed?” He asks.

“No. What? Why?”

“Because whenever I would have an episode Phas would always come over and hold me until I fell asleep and it might work for you too.” He shrugs and unbuckles his belt.

“What are you doing?” Ben asks, turning his back and closing his eyes for good measure.

“I can’t get comfortable in jeans.” He climbs under the covers and pats the other side of the bed. “I’m under the covers now, you can turn around.” Hux smiles, pressing his lips together so he doesn’t laugh when Ben avoids eye contact until he too is under the covers. “Would you like to cuddle?” He asks and the larger male nods wordlessly.

Ben opens the drawer at his bedside, pulling out a familiar box of tablets and popping a pill in to his hand.

“If I’m having a nightmare will you wake me?” He asks Hux, looking down at the pill as of it’s life or death.

“I will. I promise.” Hux says, taking Ben’s other hand in his own. “I’ll be right here.” Ben takes a deep breath before swallowing the pill dry. Hux gives him a supportive smile as they lay down. He settles in behind Ben, wrapping an arm around him and using the other as a pillow.

“Now just try and relax.” He says softly, pressing his forehead against his still damp hair. Ben nods through a yawn.

He hums quietly as the two lie awake, waiting for the pill to do its job. Within ten minutes Ben gets drowsy, eyelids drooping but his body continues to fight sleep.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m here.” Hux whispers, pressing a kiss to his hair. “Sleep, Ben.” He winds his fingers through Hux’s and holds on as he finally allows his body to relax.

…

Hux sighs in relief as Ben’s breathing turns to snoring. Once he feels that Ben is in a deep enough sleep to not stir he gets up and continues to tidy the house, hanging the washing out, doing the dishes and opening the windows to air everything out. He checks on Ben religiously and he doesn’t so much as move, let alone show signs of any nightmares for the first two hours that Hux is away. Once the house is sufficiently cleaned, he locates his phone and fires off a text to Phasma.

…

Hux: Phas you know you love me xx

Phas: what do you want? xx

Hux: could you pleeease go to mine and feed Millie for me this evening? xx

Phas: why do you want me to feed your demon? xx  
Phas: are you still at lover boys??xx

Hux: not like that xx  
Hux: he really needs someone right now xx

Phas: what do I get out of it?xx

Hux: I’ll love you forever pleeeeease xx

Phas: …  
Phas: fine xx

Hux: you’re a star! Thank you so much xx

Phas: no need to tell me what I already know xx

...

Hux returns and slides in beside Ben, curling around him once more, this time with his phone in hand so that he has something to occupy himself with whilst Ben sleeps.

He’s halfway through a tutorial on how to turn old towels in to plant pots when Ben’s breathing quickens and he starts to mumble. There’s a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead and tears streaming down his face.

“Ben? Ben, I’m here. Shh, it’s okay, you’re okay, I’m here.” He whispers as he wraps his arms around Ben more securely, stroking his hair and whispering to him to gradually bring him out of the nightmare.

“No… please… please don’t- no!” He jerks awake and Hux tightens his arms.

“I’m here. I’m here. It was just a dream. You don’t have to be afraid, I’m right here.”

“H-Hux?” He looks up and Hux can’t help but feel that in this moment Ben looks like nothing more than a scared boy, tired eyes wide and full of fear.

“Yes. It’s me, love, I’m here.” Ben turns over and grips Hux’s shirt, burying his face in to his neck. “I’m right here.” Hux continues to stroke his hair until his breathing evens out once more and his muscles relax. He can’t even bring himself to be annoyed that Ben is now snoring practically in his ear.

…

He sucks in a deep breath as he wakes, confused as to why; 1. He’s so hot; 2. It’s so dark; and 3. What the hell is going on. He tries to move, only to find that he’s being anchored down by two arms around his torso and a leg thrown over his hips. As he slowly comes back to wakefulness he remembers, Hux coming over, borderline forcing him to shower, doing exactly as Ben had asked and waking him when he had a nightmare and then coaxing him back in to sleep when he had calmed down.

For the first time ever Ben felt… kind of well rested? He could definitely do with a few more hours of sleep - and he definitely needed to find a way to get up without waking Hux - but he felt heaps better than he had the previous morning.

Hux, as it turns out, is an incredibly light sleeper. Almost the second Ben shifts to get up, he’s tightening his arms and the leg around him.

“Hux?” He whispers in to the darkness.

“Hmm?”

“Can you let me up please?” He manages to say without laughing.

“No.” Hux says defiantly, pulling Ben in further, making him chuckle.

“Hux, I have to pee.”

“Ugh, fine.” His warmth recedes and Ben is able to get up and go to the bathroom. He brushes the tangles out of his hair and ties it back before he makes his way to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator, only to stand in shock at the fact that not only had Hux cleaned everything, he’d done the dishes and put everything away.

“I hope you’ll call before it gets that bad again. If it gets that bad again.” He says from behind Ben.

“Hux, I- I don’t know how to-”

“Don’t. There’s no need for all that, I’m just trying to help a friend.” Ben finally turns and smiles fondly at Hux.

“I like your hair like that.” He smiles. Hux’s hair is fluffy, sleep tousled and every bit as perfect as Ben had imagined it would be.

“Shut up, it looks terrible and you know it.”

“It looks good.”

“Yours looks better.”

“I have a confession. I’ve brushed it.”

“So you’ve seen my bedhead and I get this? You’re cruel, Benjamin Solo. Cruel.”

“Shut up.” Ben chuckles and before he can stop himself, he’s leaning down and kissing Hux softly.

“Is that wise before either of us have brushed our teeth?” Hux asks and Ben laughs again.

“Probably not, no. There’s a new toothbrush in the spare bathroom.”

“Thank you. Do you have tea?”

“Yeah, I can’t guarantee milk though.”

“That’s alright, I’ll have it black. Stick the kettle on.” Hux says, turning to walk to the spare bedroom to get to the ensuite

“Yes sir.” Ben even adds a rather shoddy salute this time

“And Ben?” Hux asks, turning back and leaning in to the kitchen.

“Yeah.”

“Stop calling me ‘sir’ unless you want a good fucking.” He says, and again Ben acts before he thinks, almost instantaneously replying;

“Yes sir.” He smirks and Hux eyes him up and down before walking away.

Ben goes about filling the kettle in his gloriously empty sink and puts it on to boil, pulling out two mugs, his own instant coffee (not the best but it does the job) and a box of tea bags. He checks that the tea is in date before placing a bag in Hux’s mug and some coffee in his own mug and then leaving them to go and brush his own teeth.

He returns to the kitchen to find that Hux has already poured the water in both mugs and is leaning against the counter, blowing the steam away from his own.

“Thanks.” Ben takes up the same position and sighs. “Not just for the coffee. For doing all of this. Pulling me out of that spiral.”

“How are you feeling, Ben? Honestly.” Hux asks, turning to him as he sets his mug down.

“Better. Not great, or even good really, but better.”

“Good. It’s a start. We’ll get you there, I promise we will.”

“Yeah. Yeah.”

“No, Ben, I’m serious. It took having someone that really cares about me in my corner to get me to where I am today and I’m gonna do that for you. You just have to trust me. And text me back.” They both laugh and Hux lays his hands on Ben’s arms. “I’m in your corner, Ben.”

“Thank you.”

“No need for thanks, it’s what friends do.”

“I wasn’t a very good friend to you.”

“No, you were not. But it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.” Ben sets his own mug down and covers his face with his hands.

“Ben, what’s wrong?”

“I got really scared.” He says in to his palms.

“What do you mean?”

“I- the movie. I’d watched it before and it didn’t happen, I thought I would be okay, but watching it with you there, I just…”

“Ben?”

“I got really h-hard.”

“I know.”

“And I got embarrassed. I didn’t want you to think that I- that I was expecting anything from you because I really- I swear I wasn’t and I just did the first thing that came to mind and that was to leave and I’m sorry.”

“Ben, I know. And it’s okay. Just- in the future just tell me what’s going on, I meant what I texted you. I would’ve helped you, any way you wanted me to.”

“I’m not so sure about that.” Ben scoffs.

“Why? Do you have an STI?”

“No!”

“Then what could possibly make me not want to touch you? To help you?”

Ben mumbles it behind his hands.

“Ben, I didn’t hear you, you’re gonna have to speak up.”

“I said I’m a virgin!” He snaps and Hux smiles softly.

“That doesn’t matter to me.” He shrugs.

“What?”

“You’re smart. You’re funny. You’re kind. You’re stupidly handsome. And you have a penchant for my favourite erotic author.” He lays his hands on Ben’s biceps.

“My liking Kylo Ren makes you like me?”

“Not just that. The other things too.”

“You- I don’t even know how you’re real.” He scoffs a laugh.

“Well I am. And I’m standing right in front of you.” He says as he steps closer to him.

“You- you are.” Ben gulps as Hux takes another step.

“I am… so, what are you gonna do about it?” He looks Ben in the eye and raises a perfect brow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this one. Again, I know it seems like things are moving along very quickly but this is important to the story, it will all make sense I promise!!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I know it seems quite fast-paced but that is for a very good reason. All will be revealed in due time!!
> 
> Chapter 2 coming soon :)


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